Monthly Archives: August 2018

Muhénan mièrdè asin’aki no meresé di haña un bon hòmber!

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Poko dianan ei mi tabata atendé ku algun kos den mi kamber, i mi tabata tende gritunan masha spantoso. Mi a tende un hòmber grita, zundra, i tambe mi tabata tende zonido di kosnan ku tabata dal kibra.

Mi a sali pafó i ripara ku ta mi bisiñanan tabata pleita asina. Mi a tende e hòmber zundra e muhé bis’é:

“Kon bo por hasi mi algu asin’aki? Tur kos mi a hasi pa bo. Tur kos mi a duna bo. Anto asina aki bo ta paga mi? (Tangalan…..kos ta kai kibra.) Kon bo por ta kapas ha? Anto den mi mesun kas? Bo ta un yu di puta bo sa.”

Anto e muhé tabata kontesta:

“Si, pasó nunka bo no tei. Fo’i mainta 7or bo ta sali bai trabou, bo ta bin kas mèrdia bin yena bo stoma i despues bolbe sali bèk. Te anochi 9or mi ta bolbe mira bo atrobe. Bo ta yega, kome, baña, subi kama drumi. Bo no ta atendé mi. Bo no ta duna mi atenshon, ni kariño ni amor. Kiko bo a kere? Ku mi no sa haña speshi? Ta hende mi yama Arturo. Ta hende mi yama. Mi tin sanger ta kore den mi kurpa.”

“Tangalanan pin pan”(Kos a kai kibra atrobe.)

“Sera bo smul. Ta pa abo haña ko’i kome mi tabata traha duru asina. Ta pa abo haña moda di bisti tur bo pañanan karu mi tabata traha duru asina. Ta pa bo haña moda di hasi bo uña, kabei i bo ‘lashes’ mi tabata traha duru asina. Anto asina bo ta paga mi? Bo ta hopi malagradesí bo sa.”

“Badam boem bam”

Un kos masha duru mes a zona, i mi a sali bai wak mesora ta kiko. Mi a drenta nan kas i puntra, “Hepa, kiko ta pasando?” Dikon boso ta zundra asina?”

Arturo hopi emoshoná a kuminsá splika mi ku el a topa un kondon bou di e laken riba nan kama i asina el a haña sa ku e muhé ta kòrta su orea.

Mi a bira wak e muhé i bis’é, “Maryyyy, ta ki esei? Kon bo por tabata kapas di hasi algu asina? Kasi sigur ta e hòmber den pikòp ku sa bin trese mango pa bo. Ta kuné bo ta kòrta orea di Arturo mi bisiña?”

Arturo ta bira puntra, “Kua hòmber esei? Ken koño esei ta?”

Mary rabiá a kontesta mi, “Abo tene bo sanka afó. Bo no tin nada di bisa.”

Arturo rabiá a bira zuai Mary ku un pal’i basora. Mi a tene i bis’é, “No Arturo. Esei si no. Mi por komprondé ku e muhé a faya ku bo i a lástima bo sintimentunan. Pero bo no tin ku baha na su nivel. Loke bo tin ku hasi ta respetá bo mes i bai lag’é. Pasó mi ta sigur ku eifó tin yen muhé ku si lo sa di apresiá un hòmber trahadó manera bo.”

Arturo di, “Si bo sa. Mihó mi bai laga e kaka di muhé aki. Pero un kos mi ta bisa bo Mary. Mi ta manda mi abogado pa bo. Pasó e kos aki si mi no ta tuma. Mi ta bai kita kas, outo ku tur kos fo’i bo. Sanka na man lo bo keda.”

Akinan Mary a kai den otro i a kuminsá yora, “No Arturo, no bai laga mi. Mi no por sin bo. Mi mester di bo dushi. Pordoná mi. Lo mi no hasié mas. Pordoná mi Arturo, no bai laga mi.”

Mary a purba ranka Arturo na su paña, miéntras Arturo tabata purba sali pafó p’e bai for di kas. Arturo a bira kita Mary su man i bis’é “No mishi ku mi ku bo man sushi. Man ku bo tabata mishi ku patin di bo hòmber. No mishi ku mi muhé. Laga mi bai.”

Arturo rabiá a drenta su outo i bai.

Mary a keda den kas bentá abou ta yora. Mi a kana bai serka dje i bis’é, “Bo tin kurashi di yora bo sa. Hopi mièrdè bo ta. Bo a faya ku e hòmber—un bon hòmber—anto awó ku el a bai, bo ke yora tambe? Dikon hende muhe ta asina? Boso kara no tin wesu?”

Mira aki, Mary a lanta fo’i suela bira harta mi ku sla  i keda grita, “M’a bisa bo, mi a bisa bo pa wak pa bo no laga e kondon riba mi kama. Bo a bai lag’é riba kama tòg. Koño, bo no ta tende? Ta bo falta.”

Hopi mièrdè e muhé ei ta sua. Awó e ta kulpa ami ku su relashon a kibra.

Pero serio serio, mi a lubida di tira e kondon afó. Ora mi kaba di hunga, ta kome mi ke kome mesora. Mi ta lubida riba tur sobrá kos.

Den mi bukinan “Awa, Habon ku Past’i Djente’ i ‘ Hink’é aden’ tin hopi historia mas, hopi mas interesante i pikante. Hòmbu, si mi konta bo kosnan ku mi a pasa aden, lo bo no kere. Chèk e bukinan ei i komprobá pa bo mes. Por sierto, keda pendiente pa e “September Special!”

 

[Even though blogging costs a lot of time and money, I don’t feel like charging my blog readers to be able to read my content. I want to keep it free for everyone. However, funds are still needed in order to produce and publish quality content, as well as writing and publishing books. Consider making a one-time donation to Lion Spratt as a way to show your support. Click here to learn how. Thank you in advance for your generosity!]

Four questions that will help you find your purpose in life!

Reading Time: 3 minutes

My psychologist once told me the reason most people come in for therapy is that they don’t know what the fuck they want. (He said “fuck”, not me.) That might be true because living life without a purpose might make you feel kind of blue, therefore feeling pretty unhappy. Luckily for you, there is something that can help.

[Even though blogging costs a lot of time and money, I don’t feel like charging my blog readers to be able to read my content. I want to keep it free for everyone. However, funds are still needed in order to produce and publish quality content, as well as writing and publishing books. Consider making a one-time donation to Lion Spratt as a way to show your support. Click here to learn how. Thank you in advance for your generosity!]

Here’s the reason why men hate using condoms!

Reading Time: 7 minutes

First of all, having this discussion with women is pointless. I will more likely win an argument with my dog about him peeing on my car tires than convincing women why wearing condoms for men are effective but pretty undesirable.

[Even though blogging costs a lot of time and money, I don’t feel like charging my blog readers to be able to read my content. I want to keep it free for everyone. However, funds are still needed in order to produce and publish quality content, as well as writing and publishing books. Consider making a one-time donation to Lion Spratt as a way to show your support. Click here to learn how. Thank you in advance for your generosity!]

Finalmente, ata e 3 ingredientenan ku bo mester pa bo bira un bionario.

Reading Time: 10 minutes

Si semper bo tabata ke a bira un mionario òf asta un bionario, e ora ei awe ta bo dia di suerte. Stòp ku tur loke bo ta bezig kuné. Bai sinta bo so den un kamber, òf sinta un kaminda ku niun hende no ta stroba bo, ya asina tur bo atenshon lo ta na loke mi ta bai splika. (Lesa e artíkulo aki promé ku e bionarionan ‘delete’ e for di Internèt.)

[Even though blogging costs a lot of time and money, I don’t feel like charging my blog readers to be able to read my content. I want to keep it free for everyone. However, funds are still needed in order to produce and publish quality content, as well as writing and publishing books. Consider making a one-time donation to Lion Spratt as a way to show your support. Click here to learn how. Thank you in advance for your generosity!]

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