I’m sorry but I have to confess this to you.

You know, I had no idea I was subscribed to so many websites. I’ve come to realize this when I was continuously receiving e-mails about a so called ‘Privacy Policy and Data Protection update’. For the past few days many companies have been telling me that they have updated their privacy policies. That’s because the European Union recently passed a new law about privacy and data protection that affects all companies operating in the European Zone. It’s called the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation, effective as of May 25, 2018), which contains significant changes in data protection regulation in the European Union (EU) and European Economic Area (EEA), and it replaces the former legal framework Data Protective Directive. This is not the confession, but here it comes.

If you are subscribed to a website, you should have probably received an e-mail from them highlighting changes in their privacy policy. However, you will not be receiving such e-mail from me (CuckooPress) and here are the reasons why:

1) I don’t have a privacy policy.
It’s not that I don’t consider your privacy important; it’s just that I don’t have much information about you to be worrying about protecting your privacy. I only have your name and e-mail address. How much damage can I or other people do with that? Facebook knows a lot more stuff about you and you don’t seem to care. Plus, I can guarantee you that you can trust me with all your information. You can blindly give me your debit card and your pin number while resting assured that I will not take a single penny from your bank account. I am honest like that.

2) If I had a privacy policy, you wouldn’t read it anyway!
Let’s be honest here. How many of the policy updates have you read? Before signing up to a website or using whatever digital product, how many times do you click to agree with the terms of conditions without reading them? I mean, who has time to read all that mumbo jumbo? I know people barely read my interesting, informative and highly humorist posts. Why on earth would I create a long-ass privacy policy that I know for sure people won’t read? I’m a very busy person, I don’t have time to waste on important (but highly ignored) stuff like that.

3) Uhmm, I don’t have a third reason.  Yep, I think there were only two.

Bottom line is, I’m already bombarding you with a lot of e-mails and posts. I don’t want to increase that by bothering you with something you don’t really care about. I mean, it’s not like you voluntarily subscribed to my mailing list. I just had your e-mail from previous interactions we had in the past (or you did subscribe to my website believing it was some kind a literature porno website) and I thought you would appreciate getting notifications from me every time I create a new post on my website. If you don’t like it, you can easily unsubscribe—though that will seriously hurt my feelings.

After all, one of the primary changes brought up with the GDPR is to offer the recipient an easy opt-out option from the subscription, and I already have that in place. (Or I think I have that in place. I’m not sure. I haven’t tested it out, because I don’t want to unsubscribe from my own mailing list, neither do I want you to.)

Anyway, that was everything I wanted to confess. I hope we can remain friends after revealing my dirty little secret.

If for some reason you are still not satisfied with my explanation and apology, then I suggest you to visit me today at the hotel Trupial Inn between 2  and 5 PM. I will be launching my new book ‘Hink’é aden’. You can read all about it here. After you buy a book from me, we can hug our differences out. What do you say?

[Even though blogging costs a lot of time and money, I don’t feel like charging my blog readers to be able to read my content. I want to keep it free for everyone. However, funds are still needed in order to produce and publish quality content, as well as writing and publishing books. Consider making a one-time donation to Lion Spratt as a way to show your support. Click here to learn how. Thank you in advance for your generosity!]

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