Here’s why I cannot be intimidated by strong, smart and successful women!

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 In this century women surpass men in many areas. More women than men now graduate college with Master Degrees and PhD’s, and many women have higher earnings than their male counterparts.

Multiple studies show that, when asked, men say they prefer dating intelligent and ambitious women. But according to these women, the reality proves otherwise. They say that men are threatened by their ambition, independence and success. Well, oke!

Let me ask you something, and please be honest. Let’s assume you are a very ambitious, strong and successful woman and that I’m interested in dating you. I’m a broke-ass writer making peanuts, while you make shitloads of money. I am fairly content with what I do, and I’m simply not as ambitious as you are. Would you accept dating me, or would you rather date a more ambitious man with more….let’s say….resource potential?

(For those who like to read)
Rumor has it that men are threatened by a successful and financially independent woman. My guess is that this rumor is probably spread by these “strong, smart and successful” women, isn’t it? Countless times I have heard them say “Men are intimidated by a strong successful woman”. I am sure some men are, indeed. I mean there are all types of people in this world. (No need to say that strong men are not intimidated by strong women. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences.) But many women have been using this “girl-power” consoling line to avoid admitting that there’s really something wrong with their attitude, behavior and probably also poor choice in men.

I cannot and shall not speak for all men, but I for sure would admire an accomplished intelligent woman. I simply cannot be intimidated by your strength, accomplishments and intelligence. Au contraire, your success gives me something to brag about. However, I don’t like it when your ambitious, aggressive, pushy and opinionated qualities—that perhaps made you successful in your career—cross over in your personal relationship with me. Those qualities make you thrive in a competitive work environment. It gives me stress though. There’s a reason I left that environment a long time ago. I don’t like being pushed or stressed. I am not saying that you don’t have to be docile, but nobody likes a smartass. I know this for a fact, because nobody likes me when I’m being a smartass.

I’m not attracted to a woman for her degrees and achievements. I mean I’ve never wanted to take a woman to bed because she has many degrees and accomplishments. As a visual creature, I am mostly attracted to women for their physical appearance. As a human being (debatable) I am attracted to a woman for her ability to have good conversations and her ability to make me feel understood and emotionally safe. As a matter of fact, many women make me feel emotionally unsafe. That one I admit. They scare the living shit out of me with their perceived “strong”, but more like bitchy attitude.

Moreover, the “I don’t need a man” attitude to me is really not desirable. It is one thing not to be dependent on a man, but it’s a complete different thing to act like you don’t need a man. Men are natural born providers and protectors. (Which is probably why some men are not attracted to a woman who already has it all or even more than them.)  I don’t have to be a financial provider to you (I couldn’t even if I wanted to), but if you pretend like you don’t need emotional support because you are too “strong and independent” then I simply have no place in your life. If you want to act like no man can give you anything that you already have, then I suggest you to keep consoling yourself with statuses like “neither single nor taken, but building an empire, loving yourself, growing, meeting new people, bla bla bla.”


Hink’é Aden Coming Soon!

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