How is it like to move to the Netherlands?

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 As many of you already know, I got tired of Curaçao and I moved to the Netherlands…….forever!

Sorry my people, but I’m not coming back. It’s too hot in Curaçao; the people are stupid, they are all saying “Bon Dia, Bon Siman” all the time like programmed robots. The system sucks, the politicians sucks even more. I can’t even find a girlfriend in Curaçao, because they don’t know how to deal with an introvert. So I packed my stuff, signed out, and I left.

At Curaçao’s Airport…..
Oke, I haven’t traveled in a long long time, so I forgot how everything is. I was a little bit concerned about the luggage weight because I don’t want to pay for extra weight. I flew with KLM and luckily for me, there was one of my ex-girlfriends at the KLM counter. Her eyes just lit up when she saw me as I blew her a kiss for being happy to see her. When it was my turn to check-in my luggage she asked “Are you leaving me?” I said “Sadly yes”. She confirmed my seat to me, which was next to an exit door and she confirmed to me if I’m aware that by sitting there, I have to agree to help with evacuation procedures in case of any emergency. I said “Yes, I’m aware”. She asked me “Are you willing to help with evacuation in case of any emergency?” I said “Yes, yes I am.” (I know she was just doing her job, but come on……. who the FUCK asks a black guy to help with evacuation of a plane in case of any emergency? If there were to be any type of emergency where I should leave the plane, I’d be the first one to jump out of that goddamn plane. What the fuck do you mean with “Help with evacuation? Are you crazy?)

So, checking in went smoothly and I went upstairs to security. Soon as I got there I noticed that everybody was rushing. I don’t know why, but I rushed too. Then we went to the waiting room and waited for a whole damn hour. (So why the hell were they rushing for?)

So, as you know I reserved a seat next to an exit door, because I’m pretty tall (192cm) so I need space for my long legs. The chair I chose was next to the window……….BAD IDEA. The doors have this bulky thing which prevents me from stretching my long-ass legs.

Then the plane took off. There was this horrible noise, I believe coming from the engine. As you can see on the picture below, I sat pretty close to the wings, which I believe holds one engine of the plane, and I was hearing a pretty annoying sound for at least one full hour. That caused some real bad disturbance to my ears. Never again!

I was also wondering how overweight people can fit in those chairs. I’m pretty slim, and I was very uncomfortable sitting in those crappy chairs.

Then there are the babies…..
Oh…the babies. Why do people fly with babies? As soon as the plane took off, the babies decided to create a baby choir and cried in unison. They sang different songs, from “Jingle Bells” to “Not so silent flight”. I turned many times over my shoulder wondering when those babies are going to shut the hell up. But I understood them. They were probably complaining about the noise and probably the fact that they didn’t want to fly in the first place.

Then we arrived to Amsterdam….
So, here’s the thing. Many people told me about their bad experience going through security at Schiphol. So I was pretty scared for this. I was scared about how they are going to treat me and search me. I was afraid that they would stick their cold finger up in my ass to check if I have any drugs hidden in there. But I was scared for nothing. It went pretty easy. All those people were pretty friendly and nice.

(Oke, “friendly and nice” is kind of an overstatement, but it wasn’t that bad.)

Let’s start by saying that all the passengers were rushing to go somewhere. They were walking extremely fast, walking on the electronic rollers like they have been holding their poop for far too long. But, that’s not my business.

First thing I encountered was a security agent standing at the first door with a freakishly big dog that’s probably on steroid. I almost crapped in my pants when I saw that dog. The dog could probably eat me in just one bite. To make things worse, the damn dog came unto me looking very hungry, so I was like “Holy sweet mother of this freaking nature, what the fuck is that?” The agent responded by saying “You’re good to go, keep walking” Then I was slightly offended because I thought I wasn’t delicious enough for that stupid dog.

Then I got to some other security control where they asked me for my passport. The security agent looked into my passport, checked something in a computer-like machine and asked me “So, you are traveling alone?” I replied: “Yes, I’m an introvert. That’s what we do. We do things alone. Everybody knows that.” He said “Alright, go on”.

Then I got to another passport control checkpoint, where again they checked my passport, scanned it and asked me how long I will be staying. I said “I don’t know. It depends on my mood.” The agent looked me fiercely into my eyes; I looked fiercely back into his eyes. He lifted his left eyebrow, I lifted my right eyebrow. After five seconds he asked “Spreekt u Nederlands? (Do you speak Dutch?) I said “No, only English”. He said “Oke sir, have a nice day”. I said “Bedankt, Jij ook.”(Thanks, you too!)

Then I went to look for my luggage and went through the luggage check point. I had to put everything (again) on a roller that took my luggage into a scanner. I received them at the other side, and finally I could leave. No questions asked.

Finally in the Netherlands….
The Schiphol airport is a pretty big airport. (Yeah yeah, I know. It’s pretty small compared to big airports, but it’s big compared to Curaçao’s airport.) There are many stores and places to eat and buy things. The people are very friendly; especially the Marechausee agents walking around with bulletproof vest and freakishly big machine guns, like Adolf Hitler is about to re-appear at any time. You will certainly feel safe at Schiphol.

Fast Forward to a week in the Netherlands…..
One big difference that you will immediately notice is that a lot of people travel by bicycle, which is a cheaper mode of transportation. Public transportation is not expensive (except intercity trains), but it won’t be cheap either if you want to move a lot. (Well, you can walk but……come one now!)

Next thing you will inevitably notice, and probably the most important of it all…… it’s very cold. No….it’s FREAKING COLD.

Coming from Curaçao, which is a nicely hot and sunny place, into this place, you will probably be shivering and wondering how people can live in this cold weather. People say that in this time of the year (March/April), the weather is very nice and chilly, but they probably have dirty pores. (Probably because they have experienced a much colder weather in winter season.) My skin pores are clean and wide open and they can’t take this cold. The cold hinders me a little bit from going out and staying out late. But it’s not any better inside either. People here are pretty frugal on their utility bills so for some reason they avoid using the heating system. They would want you to use it as little as possible so they can get some cash return on their yearly bill or something like that. This is not very nice since I want to turn up the heat and also turn on the stove and the oven at the same time. And this is just spring. I can’t imagine how it is in winter. Fuck you and your cold Netherlands. I’m going back to Curaçao!

On the plus side…people are very nice and friendly (at least here in Maastricht). They don’t greet…..AT ALL. This is nice, since I don’t like to greet either. It costs me too much energy, especially in the morning. What also caught my attention is that Maastricht consist predominantly of white people, but they do not treat black people differently. I can go into a store, walk around without having people following me, like I’m about to steal something. You may walk next to a nice old lady, without her looking at you suspiciously or taking a tighter grip to her purse.

Furthermore, the place looks pretty clean, nice, very modern in terms on automated systems, pretty good infrastructure and well organized. Something we know NOTHING about in Curaçao. Yes, I said it…..we are far from being organized. And don’t let me start with being ON TIME. If only Curaçao could copy these things…..if only.

Except one thing…..
These people need to learn about colors. This place is so grey and boring. I already e-mailed some of my primu’s and prima’s (cousins) to come here so we can have a big BBQ party and put some colors into these buildings. I can understand why people jump in front of trains all the time.

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