I’m fine, really!

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 Many people are emotionally baffled, wounded, vulnerable and protective. We feel many things we don’t understand, and we fear our emotions since they are very hard to control. We are also afraid to learn more about what we feel, why we feel it and how to control it, because to do it you will have to realize, accept and work on things that might be painful and uncomfortable. That includes talking to someone about your truest feelings. Since this is so hard, this is what we do instead:

We close ourselves down and become emotionally protective. We seek comfort and relief in money, food, nicotine, alcohol, religion and long hours of work. Some people display an arrogant and tough persona to hide the emotionally unstable and wounded person that they are inside. We try so hard on proving to others that we are worth something. We want to be seen as highly successful, highly intelligent, very busy, very funny, adventurous and of course happy with no problems. I see these people all the time. They all walk around with a fake smile, pretending that they are doing just fine.

About 90% of us pretend to be okay when we are not. That’s understandable because most people don’t really care about how you’re doing either. We just want to know how people are doing so we can compare ourselves to them.

This is why I have a problem with the question “How are you doing”. When I hear this, I always wonder “Do you have time to hear how I’m really doing? Are you really going to listen? Do you really care? Are you going to be judgmental on things I did that put me in the situation that I am today? Are you going to give me stupid advice just so you can feel like you are capable of solving problems I couldn’t solve? Are you going to give me a piece of your mind just to quench you opinionated thirst?” Since I’m uncertain about all of this, I end up saying “I’m okay. I’m doing fine”!

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