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Último dianan aki tur hende ta papia di e flor. Hendenan ku bo tin ratu sin tende di nan tabata tuma kontakto ku bo ta pidi bo pa drenta nan flor. En More »
Poko dianan ei mi tabata atendé ku algun kos den mi kamber, i mi tabata tende gritunan masha spantoso. Mi a tende un hòmber grita, zundra, i tambe mi tabata tende zonido More »
My psychologist once told me the reason most people come in for therapy is that they don’t know what the fuck they want. (He said “fuck”, not me.) That might be true More »
First of all, having this discussion with women is pointless. I will more likely win an argument with my dog about him peeing on my car tires than convincing women why wearing More »
Si semper bo tabata ke a bira un mionario òf asta un bionario, e ora ei awe ta bo dia di suerte. Stòp ku tur loke bo ta bezig kuné. Bai sinta More »
Esaki ta algu ku a pasa mi, pero ku mi no a konta boso ainda. Mi lo mester a hinka e historia aki tambe den mi buki ‘Hink’é aden’, pero si mi More »
Ayera anochi den Curaçao Renaissance Hotel, mi a presensiá final di e sertámen Miss Curaçao Teenager 2018. E bia aki lo mi kontené mi mes i evitá di duna mi opinion pa More »
Aktualmente señor Darick Jonis ta dirigí Aqualectra komo direktor interino pa Aqualectra i e ta kandidato fuerte pa bira direktor general di Aqualecra. Sinembargo, e lo bai hañ’é ku un tarea fuerte, More »
Pa di promé, e nòmber di e artikulo aki di ningun forma ta representá e bèrdat ni mi opinion riba e pueblo yu’i Kòrsou. Di ningun forma mi ke insinuá ku niun More »
Djamars último durante ‘ladies night’, Campo Alegre a tene pa di promé bia un ‘squirt show’ pa tur hende mira. Ora mi a mira e propaganda riba página di Campo Alegre mi More »
You know, I had no idea I was subscribed to so many websites. I’ve come to realize this when I was continuously receiving e-mails about a so called ‘Privacy Policy and Data More »
Den mayoria kaso bo ta haña ku ta hende hòmber ta esun ku ta purba konvensé un muhé pa sèks kuné. Tin muhé ta asta apliká un ‘90-day rule’ promé ku nan bai kama ku un hòmber i tin ta keda wanta hòmber abou dos aña largu promé ku e hòmber por sèks ku e muhé.
Último dianan aki tur hende ta papia di e flor. Hendenan ku bo tin ratu sin tende di nan tabata tuma kontakto ku bo ta pidi bo pa drenta nan flor. En prinsipio yen bia mi a kere ku ta kue nan ke mi kue nan. Pues ami tabata bisa nan ku mas ku klaro lo mi ke drenta nan flor, i nan tabata bisa mi ku 180 florin mi mester i mi por drenta nan flor. Ami tabata pensa ku e dil ei no ta asina malu, pasó aworakí kualke trago-meisje di kalidat ta kobra 300 florin i ainda bo tin ku paga ko’i bebe i hotèl. Pues 180 florin no ta malu. Ta ora ku mi bai hiba e 180 florin i kuminsá kita paña pa mi drenta e flor ku tur hende ta papia di dje, nan ta keda wak mi straño, pasó no ta esei nan ke men.
Hopi hende ta kategorisá kosnan ku mi skibi riba mi página komo ‘fake’. En realidat no ta asina. De bes en kuando, mi sa haña ideanan pa krea un historia rondó di akontesimentunan ku a sosodé den komunidat òf ku mi persona. E ideanan aki ta kai mas bien bou di sátira. Ta ideanan ku mayoria bia ta basá riba algu ku a sosodé di bèrdat, i sea mi a pone algu aserka pa eksager’é òf pa dòrn’é ku un tiki ‘dark humor’. Ta ami su stail. Bo no mester gusta ni aprobá esei.
Sátira pa esnan ku no sa, ta e uzo di humor, ironia òf eksagerashon pa ekspresá un pensamentu. Tin hende ta hasié pa ridikulisá òf krítika un persona òf instansia. Partikularmente polítikonan ta resultá víktima di sátira pa motibu di nan komportashon hipókrita.
Na Kòrsou aki, ta parse mi ku nos no konosé esaki, i pa motibu di flohera i ignoransia, hopi hende ta sea tuma e sátira komo e realidat, òf (pa nan ta ‘safe’) nan ta kere ku tur kos ku mi skibi ta falsu, pa motibu ku pa nan, e ta difísil pa diferenshá kiko ta real for di kiko no. Esaki ta algu ku ami lo tin ku bai kambia, pa evita konfushon.
Loke mi ta bai skibi aki, mi por bisa bo ku e no ta kai bou di ni ‘fake news’ ni sátiro. Mi ta bai konta presis loke a sosodé, na e manera ku ami a eksperensi’é.
Poko dianan ei mi tabata atendé ku algun kos den mi kamber, i mi tabata tende gritunan masha spantoso. Mi a tende un hòmber grita, zundra, i tambe mi tabata tende zonido di kosnan ku tabata dal kibra.
Mi a sali pafó i ripara ku ta mi bisiñanan tabata pleita asina. Mi a tende e hòmber zundra e muhé bis’é:
“Kon bo por hasi mi algu asin’aki? Tur kos mi a hasi pa bo. Tur kos mi a duna bo. Anto asina aki bo ta paga mi? (Tangalan…..kos ta kai kibra.) Kon bo por ta kapas ha? Anto den mi mesun kas? Bo ta un yu di puta bo sa.”
Anto e muhé tabata kontesta:
“Si, pasó nunka bo no tei. Fo’i mainta 7or bo ta sali bai trabou, bo ta bin kas mèrdia bin yena bo stoma i despues bolbe sali bèk. Te anochi 9or mi ta bolbe mira bo atrobe. Bo ta yega, kome, baña, subi kama drumi. Bo no ta atendé mi. Bo no ta duna mi atenshon, ni kariño ni amor. Kiko bo a kere? Ku mi no sa haña speshi? Ta hende mi yama Arturo. Ta hende mi yama. Mi tin sanger ta kore den mi kurpa.”
“Tangalanan pin pan”(Kos a kai kibra atrobe.)
“Sera bo smul. Ta pa abo haña ko’i kome mi tabata traha duru asina. Ta pa abo haña moda di bisti tur bo pañanan karu mi tabata traha duru asina. Ta pa bo haña moda di hasi bo uña, kabei i bo ‘lashes’ mi tabata traha duru asina. Anto asina bo ta paga mi? Bo ta hopi malagradesí bo sa.”
“Badam boem bam”
Un kos masha duru mes a zona, i mi a sali bai wak mesora ta kiko. Mi a drenta nan kas i puntra, “Hepa, kiko ta pasando?” Dikon boso ta zundra asina?”
Arturo hopi emoshoná a kuminsá splika mi ku el a topa un kondon bou di e laken riba nan kama i asina el a haña sa ku e muhé ta kòrta su orea.
Mi a bira wak e muhé i bis’é, “Maryyyy, ta ki esei? Kon bo por tabata kapas di hasi algu asina? Kasi sigur ta e hòmber den pikòp ku sa bin trese mango pa bo. Ta kuné bo ta kòrta orea di Arturo mi bisiña?”
Arturo ta bira puntra, “Kua hòmber esei? Ken koño esei ta?”
Mary rabiá a kontesta mi, “Abo tene bo sanka afó. Bo no tin nada di bisa.”
Arturo rabiá a bira zuai Mary ku un pal’i basora. Mi a tene i bis’é, “No Arturo. Esei si no. Mi por komprondé ku e muhé a faya ku bo i a lástima bo sintimentunan. Pero bo no tin ku baha na su nivel. Loke bo tin ku hasi ta respetá bo mes i bai lag’é. Pasó mi ta sigur ku eifó tin yen muhé ku si lo sa di apresiá un hòmber trahadó manera bo.”
Arturo di, “Si bo sa. Mihó mi bai laga e kaka di muhé aki. Pero un kos mi ta bisa bo Mary. Mi ta manda mi abogado pa bo. Pasó e kos aki si mi no ta tuma. Mi ta bai kita kas, outo ku tur kos fo’i bo. Sanka na man lo bo keda.”
Akinan Mary a kai den otro i a kuminsá yora, “No Arturo, no bai laga mi. Mi no por sin bo. Mi mester di bo dushi. Pordoná mi. Lo mi no hasié mas. Pordoná mi Arturo, no bai laga mi.”
Mary a purba ranka Arturo na su paña, miéntras Arturo tabata purba sali pafó p’e bai for di kas. Arturo a bira kita Mary su man i bis’é “No mishi ku mi ku bo man sushi. Man ku bo tabata mishi ku patin di bo hòmber. No mishi ku mi muhé. Laga mi bai.”
Arturo rabiá a drenta su outo i bai.
Mary a keda den kas bentá abou ta yora. Mi a kana bai serka dje i bis’é, “Bo tin kurashi di yora bo sa. Hopi mièrdè bo ta. Bo a faya ku e hòmber—un bon hòmber—anto awó ku el a bai, bo ke yora tambe? Dikon hende muhe ta asina? Boso kara no tin wesu?”
Mira aki, Mary a lanta fo’i suela bira harta mi ku sla i keda grita, “M’a bisa bo, mi a bisa bo pa wak pa bo no laga e kondon riba mi kama. Bo a bai lag’é riba kama tòg. Koño, bo no ta tende? Ta bo falta.”
Hopi mièrdè e muhé ei ta sua. Awó e ta kulpa ami ku su relashon a kibra.
Pero serio serio, mi a lubida di tira e kondon afó. Ora mi kaba di hunga, ta kome mi ke kome mesora. Mi ta lubida riba tur sobrá kos.
Den mi bukinan “Awa, Habon ku Past’i Djente’ i ‘ Hink’é aden’ tin hopi historia mas, hopi mas interesante i pikante. Hòmbu, si mi konta bo kosnan ku mi a pasa aden, lo bo no kere. Chèk e bukinan ei i komprobá pa bo mes. Por sierto, keda pendiente pa e “September Special!”
My psychologist once told me the reason most people come in for therapy is that they don’t know what the fuck they want. (He said “fuck”, not me.) That might be true because living life without a purpose might make you feel kind of blue, therefore feeling pretty unhappy. Luckily for you, there is something that can help.
First of all, having this discussion with women is pointless. I will more likely win an argument with my dog about him peeing on my car tires than convincing women why wearing condoms for men are effective but pretty undesirable.
Si semper bo tabata ke a bira un mionario òf asta un bionario, e ora ei awe ta bo dia di suerte. Stòp ku tur loke bo ta bezig kuné. Bai sinta bo so den un kamber, òf sinta un kaminda ku niun hende no ta stroba bo, ya asina tur bo atenshon lo ta na loke mi ta bai splika. (Lesa e artíkulo aki promé ku e bionarionan ‘delete’ e for di Internèt.)
Esaki ta algu ku a pasa mi, pero ku mi no a konta boso ainda. Mi lo mester a hinka e historia aki tambe den mi buki ‘Hink’é aden’, pero si mi lo a hink’é, e ora ei lo no a sobra nada pa mi konta boso ora mi no tin nada di hasi.
Eniwee, e kos a kuminsá asina aki:
Ayera anochi den Curaçao Renaissance Hotel, mi a presensiá final di e sertámen Miss Curaçao Teenager 2018. E bia aki lo mi kontené mi mes i evitá di duna mi opinion pa motibu ku delaster bia mi a duna mi opinion, famianan a manda menasa ku yen kos pa mi via di Facebook. Mi tin basta enemigu kaba p’e kosnan ku mi sa skibi, i mi no mester di mas. Pues e bia aki, ta potrèt so lo mi pone. Lo mi no bisa nada, pa despues mi no tende ku ta ami ta negativo.
The world’s population has been over seven billion people for seven years already, which according to many people—and I 100% agree with them— is more than what the planet can sustain. China alone is putting a lot more pressure on that. China’s population is at almost 1.5 billion people. This overpopulation caused them to apply a ‘one child per family’ policy which was introduced in 1979. Families who fail to comply with this rule would face huge fines and have to undergo abortions. Sterilization was also forced on the Chinese people.
Aktualmente señor Darick Jonis ta dirigí Aqualectra komo direktor interino pa Aqualectra i e ta kandidato fuerte pa bira direktor general di Aqualecra. Sinembargo, e lo bai hañ’é ku un tarea fuerte, komo ku Aqualectra a pèrdè un kaso kardinal den Hoge Raad.
Pa di promé, e nòmber di e artikulo aki di ningun forma ta representá e bèrdat ni mi opinion riba e pueblo yu’i Kòrsou. Di ningun forma mi ke insinuá ku niun hende ku ta yu’i Kòrsou, ta yu di p*ta. Apsolutamente ku nò. Nan ta pió ku esei. Nan ta mama di tur p*ta. Un yu di un p*ta ta un hende inosente. E no por yuda ku su mama tabata p*ta. Yunan di Kòrsou si no. Nan ta hendenan egoista ku ta solamente wak pa nan mes.
Djamars último durante ‘ladies night’, Campo Alegre a tene pa di promé bia un ‘squirt show’ pa tur hende mira. Ora mi a mira e propaganda riba página di Campo Alegre mi di ku esaki sigur ta algu ku mi tin ku bai wak. Mi a hink’é mesora den mi agènda pa mi kòrda bai wak.
You know, I had no idea I was subscribed to so many websites. I’ve come to realize this when I was continuously receiving e-mails about a so called ‘Privacy Policy and Data Protection update’. For the past few days many companies have been telling me that they have updated their privacy policies. That’s because the European Union recently passed a new law about privacy and data protection that affects all companies operating in the European Zone. It’s called the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation, effective as of May 25, 2018), which contains significant changes in data protection regulation in the European Union (EU) and European Economic Area (EEA), and it replaces the former legal framework Data Protective Directive. This is not the confession, but here it comes.
It became such a heated debate on Internet, Television, Radio shows, and pretty much all other media channels. It seemed to me like another “what color is the dress?” viral thingie. When I heard the clip I clearly heard what the voice said, but many people heard something completely different which led me to believe that many people have a hearing problem.
So what is the voice really saying?
Actor Jay Aubrey Jones told the NBC in an interview that he barely recognized his own voice in the recording. “I’m completely and utterly floored by this, I’m really amused…every so often I’m laughing”, he said.
Listen to the clip one more time before we reveal the truth…listen to it carefully:
What Jones actually said was—hold tight, for you’re not going to believe this—‘Hink’é aden’, which is my latest book that’s coming out this Sunday May 27th. For only 50 bucks you can get yours. Just come by at Hotel Trupial Inn between 2 and 5 PM and I’ll give you the best humor book ever written!
I know, I was just as shocked by you to realize that my book’s name has been going around all over the internet for the past few days. I just realized that I’m famous. I am so going to be a millionaire. After I cash in all my money I’m going to buy a big house on a deserted island far away from everyone, four sport cars and helicopter.
Okay, let me come back to earth…..555
What the actor Jay Aubrey said during the clip, and Jones confirmed this during the interview, was the word “Laurel”. He explained that the clip was from a 10 year old recording for Vocabulary.com which is a website to help students in learning new words. I don’t know why they should learn the word “Laurel”, or who the hell is Laurel, but that’s how it is.
Image: NBC New York
Experts explain that people may hear two different words due to the frequency of the sound which is captured differently by our brains. Even President of the United States was caught up in this debate. What a way to waste presidential time, isn’t it. I wonder if he would grab Laurel by the pussy too if he knew her. Hmmm
Anyway, there you have it. Those who were convinced that the word was Yannie, y’all should change your brain frequency. It’s capturing the wrong signals. LOL
But hey, ‘Hink’é aden’ (Put it in) is still pretty close to Laurel too, so…yeah. I’m going with ‘HInk’é aden.’
Source: Mirror
www.noticiascurazao.com
